Greatest Generation My Happy Ass

...so there we were, at our local grocery establishment. We decided, "hey, it's summer, let's get a few ears of corn to go along with dinner." While shucking the corn at said grocery establishment (something that will be discussed at another time), an older woman stepped up to do the same. Now, the designated corn area is certainly not large, but it has a waste receptacle at both ends; the woman decided that instead of using the other, she'd just throw the husk at the receptacle we were using. Well, her aim was off, and the old bat ended up throwing the husks at me. No acknowledgment, no apology, no nothin'.

I'm not entirely sure when it happened, but it did: the so-called Greatest Generation is ruining the social fabric of America. Now, I've been known to advocate the outdated practice of tossing the elderly onto ice flows for many years now, but I think it's finally time to do it.

But let's embrace the era in which we live - we'll do it bureaucratically. We'll set up a system of tests, given at the DMV, in which anyone past a certain age will need to pass a series of tests in order to continue to practice certain activities. Driving, engaging in politics (note: no person over the age of 70 should be allowed to have any say in the Social Security system, ever. These people couldn't care less about the system, as long as they get their dough (re: my dough, they use up their contribution to the system long before that age) at the beginning of each month), and going out in public in general. Can't pass the driving test, Mr. Depends? Away goes your license.

Could this be a bit harsh? Sure. But in an age of an increased demand for accountability from teachers, politicians, famous athletes, and day care providers, let's demand it for those that don't contribute a hell of a lot, too.