A Minstrel's Wanderings

So here I am...

2009-05-27T20:31:00.002-04:00

...waiting for a school to call me for an interview. I've sent out over a dozen resumes to various schools, up to and including those with an hour and a half drive. But this is the stage that is maddening - the waiting.

I'm not so good at waiting.

At all.

But I'm praying every day that because a door was closed in my life, God is ready to open up the next door for me.

Friday Five: Lessons

2009-05-22T08:47:00.002-04:00

1. What kind of out-of-school lessons did you take as a kid?
I took several, but the one that sticks out the most is my hunter safety course I had to take before I could get my first hunting license. It was a three day course, and my dad sat through it with me (mind you, he was years past when he had to take it, but he sat through the class with me).

2. What valuable lesson did you learn this past week?
That school administrators rarely, if ever, take into account teachers. They will lie, cheat, and steal, so long as in the end, they look good.

3. Who in your life really needs to be taught a lesson?
I'm judgmental by nature, but I respectfully decline to answer this question for two reasons. One, because I'd rather not name names, and two, the list is too long.

4. What kind of lessons would you love to have a private teacher for right now?
Questions of faith, but in a more tactile realm, photography (getting back into it after a few years) or learning the violin.

5. What steps have you taken to lessen the impact of these rough economic times?
Now that our Disney trip is behind us, we've planned on getting on a plan to pay off our debt and live on a budget. :)

Friday Five...now on Saturday!

2009-02-07T08:49:00.002-05:00

1. What are you looking for?

Right now? Breakfast. In general, though, I'm looking for a new job. I'd like to get a job teaching in the burbs; honestly, I'm burned out on teaching inner-city kids who really don't want to be in school, let alone study history.

2. What are you waiting for?

My tax refund, so I can deposit the money into our Disney trip fund.

3. What is someone else waiting for from you?

My Mom probably wants me to call her, now that I think of it.

4. You know you have a long wait ahead of you at the doctor - what do you bring?

I always have my bag with me, so other than my iPhone, I almost always have a book, or schoolwork, to keep me entertained. I also bring lots of snark and unpleasantness, which usually makes this much more enjoyable...for me.

5. Where can you expect always to wait in a ridiculously long line?

Most people would say the DMV for this one, but I've had fantastic luck with that since I moved to New Jersey; even when I transferred my license from Michigan, it took all of 15 minutes. I'd have to say the grocery store, though, as I always seem to have a knack for stopping in when they only have a cashier and a half working.

On the Road Again....

2009-01-11T08:39:00.002-05:00

On the road again
I just can't wait to get on the road again
We're heading to Delaware to see some friends
I just can't wait to get on on the road again....

Friday Five - End of Year Positivity

2008-12-26T09:41:00.003-05:00

1. What's one really cool/useful/nice thing you purchased for yourself this year?

Hands down, my iPhone. It's damnably handy and I use it all the time.

2. What's one area of your life you really improved this year?

Well, I'm gainfully employed at a school that isn't exploiting employees and sexually harassing female staff as an institutional process (cough Snooty McSnoot Military Academy cough cough), so I dare say that's a hearty improvement.

3. Who or what was a regular source of encouragement or inspiration to you this year?

LG, without a second thought.

4. What's something nice you did for someone else this year?

Little things, I suppose, but hopefully little things add up.

5. In what way was 2008 better than 2007?

I've continued to build my life here with LG and I FINALLY received my NJ teaching certification (wow, who knew it took so many months...and months...and moooonths to transfer my certification from Michigan).

Today I realized...

2008-12-06T17:06:00.003-05:00

...that no matter how much Christmas music I play, no matter how many decorations we put up, no matter how in love I am with LG and our life here, it just doesn't feel completely Christmas-y to me unless there is snow on the ground. Now, I'm not talking the 8+ inches that Mom has currently in Michigan. But having grown up in Michigan, to my way of thinking, December is supposed to be covered in snowy goodness.

Grass and wet leaves just isn't Christmas-type weather.

The Friday Five

2008-11-07T19:21:00.002-05:00

Going to start doing the Friday Five ..

1. What usually marks the middle of your day?
The end of my courses for the day; I teach a straight five subjects every day, so lunchtime is the moment I get to take a deep breath and refresh my tea.

If I'm at home, the middle of the day is marked by taking the boys for their afternoon stroll.

2. From whom (or two whom) was your most recent middle-of-the-night phone call?
I honestly can't remember; the ones that stick out, though, are always bad news.

3. On what social, political, economic, or moral issue are you in the middle of the road?
The War. I'm for moving against the so-called "rogue states," but I'm against staying past common sense. For example, I think we should be completely out of Iraq, but I also think, before we pull out, we should swing up to Iran and remove a certain psychotic despot before we come home.

4. How likely are you to give someone the middle finger?
Very. On a scale of one to ten, probably an eight or a nine. I'll do it while driving; and I'm not one of those wussies who just flip someone off over their steering wheel. No sir, I make sure the window is rolled down, the arm is extended out, hand raised above the roof, clearly stating my displeasure at whatever jackass has irritated me.

I'll also use the middle finger as a "nyah" gesture. If I'm joking with a student after school and they make some joke about me (which I don't mind for the most part), they may just get the finger. (Calm down, folks, these are high school students, they've seen the finger before.)

5. When were you last caught in the middle of a disagreement that really had nothing to do with you?
Last year at Snooty McSnoot Military Academy - I backed up a teacher who had been sexually harassed by the Dean, and had then later been bullied by the Superintendent and the Vice President for Academic Affairs. Because I did the right thing, I was told that my job was going to go to one of the Vice President's sycophants.

You Won

2008-11-05T00:00:00.002-05:00

Congratulations, liberal Democrats. You won. I wish you all the best.

But I also wish that you suddenly realize that half of the country voted against your candidate. This was not a ringing, overwhelming success. This was decided by about 3 million people.

NOT Voting for Change

2008-11-04T14:07:00.002-05:00

Today I voted against hope.

Today I voted against change.

Today I voted against making history.

Today I voted against Medicare and Medicaid.

Today I voted to make sure that old people eat nothing but Alpo.

Today I voted against sick people getting any type of prescription medicine.

Today I voted to wage war with every other nation-state in the world.

Today I voted as a Conservative Republican.*

*or this is what I voted for if you believe all of the liberal hype

We Didn't Start the Fire

2008-10-12T08:02:00.004-04:00

The following events took place between 4:50am and 7:15am.

5:10am: Fire alarms in the hallway go off. Kinda early for the kids to be pulling the alarm. *sniff...sniff* Okay, that smells...chemically. (brain hadn't kicked in yet, chemically was the best I could do)

5:11am: *get up, check apartment for anything left on/plugged in/check for horribleness*

5:12am: *satisfied that it's not our apartment*

5:13am: Oh holy shit, those are fire engine sirens. *jump into a pair of sweats, grab Folder of All Importantness!!!!, check for cats....no cats in sight, sorry kids, Godspeed, leash dogs, grab keys and phone and bag, out the door*

5:14am: *tests the door handle to make sure there's no heat (childhood training pays off), greeted with a hallway full of smoke...and a fireman* "Sir, you have to evacuate the building!" Heading out now!

5:15am-5:20am *Hanging out across the street from the building, rumors abound that the fire was on a floor a few floors below ours. Fire has been contained at this point, now getting the smoke out of the building*

5:30am: Okay boys, we're outside, it's morning, might just as well do the morning walk.

5:30am-6:30am: *Back across the street, hanging out. Receive confirmation on where the fire took place.* Hey boys, let's go see if we can see where it happened!

6:30am-6:45am: Well whaddaya know, we can see the whole burned out apartment, and the scorch marks up the building.

6:45am: *back across the street to original position. Spy the Channel 6 New van, along with bored looking camera man smoking a cigarette with the camera trained on the front door of the apartment building* Hey, just to let you know, the action is around back. If you actually, you know, want to get a shot that has some potential value, go around back. "Really?" Yup. And just so you know, there are two other stations here, and no cameras around back. "Um...do you think I should go back there?"

7:10am: *Everyone save those living on the floor that the fire started on are allowed back in. WM goes back upstairs, opens all of the windows, turns on all of the fans in the attempt to air the place out.*

***
As far as our apartment goes, nothing was damaged, not a lot of smoke, it just smells like there's been something burning in the area. Leaving the fans on today with the windows open should air things out well. The hallways, however, still reek.

!!!! - Yes, I'm aware that that's not a word. But seriously, you should have a folder/container with all of your important information in it that you can just snag and run out of your residence in just this kind of emergency.

Who Gives a Shit?

2008-10-06T20:30:00.002-04:00

So Tina Fey does a good Sarah Palin impression. Great, that's what that type of comedienne does. At the same time, this is not genius stuff here, folks. Dana Carvey, Frank Caliendo and countless others (male and female) have done politicians before, and better.

Frankly, Tina Fey, and Sarah Palin, are so overrated it's not funny.

Troubles in Teacher Town

2008-10-02T19:21:00.002-04:00

So, I've been in my teaching position for a month. I have five preps - Civics, World History, US History, Religion, and Geography. I've been given a great deal of independence with my Religion course, so its official name has become "World Religions and Christian Theology." The first semester is devoted to a comparative survey of world religions, while the second semester is a study in the history of Christianity and the beliefs thereof. I've the same group of students for World History that I have for the Religion course, so it works out well.

The trouble, you ask? The fact that these students are not prepared for any sort of academic rigor at all. Progress reports go out tomorrow morning, and save for a scant handful of exceptions, every single one of my students has lower than a C in their respective courses, with most in the D range. While not unusual, it still bugs a bit. Most have the potential to understand the material; the cause of almost all of their poor grades is a lack of study skills. I've given them suggestions, I've given them lists. I'm not there with them at home, so I've done all I can do.

However, when every single student in a class fails a test...fails it in a big way, not just barely fail, I become a bit troubled. Well, maybe not troubled. Just pissed off.

Thought for the Day

2008-10-01T16:54:00.003-04:00

Liberals are only interested in free speech so long as you agree with them. As soon as you disagree with them, out comes the censorship.

Yeah, some of the so-called conservatives in government are complete clowns. Guess what? I'm not them, so take your self-righteous liberalism and go bother someone who isn't smarter than you are.

In the immortal words of Stan Lee, " 'nuff said."

Lesson Planning

2008-09-06T22:56:00.002-04:00

Exciting Saturday night: working on formal lesson plans for the next couple of weeks. I've the syllabus for my classes complete, so I know what we're doing when. These are the plans I have to turn in each Monday with all of the NJ standards and benchmarks, etc.

You're jealous. You know you are.

"Let us tenderly and kindly cherish, therefore, the means of knowledge. Let us dare to read, think, speak, and write." - John Adams

DNC

2008-08-26T19:57:00.003-04:00

If Hillary Clinton stands up tonight and pulls a Sean Conneyr a la "First Knight", I will vote for her without reservation.

"In order for the party to remain whole, I want all of my supporters....TO SAY FUCK OBAMA, VOTE FOR ME, WE CAN WIN THIS! NO HE CAN'T!"

I'd proudly vote for someone with balls of that magnitude, and it doesn't even matter that I disagree with her on most every ideal and policy.

***EDITED TO ADD***
I'd also be happy if she walks up to the microphone, pauses whilst looking out at the crowd, and simply states, "Fuck it, I don't have to impress you people," and walks off stage.

Happy Tidings

2008-08-19T19:37:00.004-04:00

So, I got the teaching job I interviewed for last week. I'll be teaching inner-city kids, which is what I was doing in Michigan once upon a time. I go into school on Thursday for paperwork, and classes start on 3 September.

As you might have already read on a far more popular and hard-hitting blog, LG did not get a lay-off notice, so all is good there.

Speaking of Michigan - it's been over a year since I moved to New Jersey. I have no regrets at all, as we've definitely made a happy home here.

All in all, life has been blessed for us.

Happenings

2008-08-10T17:50:00.003-04:00

Interview tomorrow for a full time history position, at an alternative Christian school nearby. Over the past few months, I've been watching a guy on television, and I really like him. He speaks to me, so to speak, with the blend of informality, knowledge, humor, and genuine spiritutality. So, when I found out he was going to be speaking nearby a couple of weeks ago, we went to go see him. I took a great deal away from that engagement.

So that was about two weeks ago. Then I get a call from this school saying I've been selected for an interview. I've experience with alternative, inner-city stuffs, as I used to do some of that in Grand Rapids. So I'm taking this as a sign, that this is me being Nudged.

Douchebags

2008-08-08T19:35:00.002-04:00

John Edwards is the douchebag of the week. And a gigantic scumbag. I've always gotten a Kennedy-esque vibe from him, and it turns out it was accurate.

Bob Costas is an Olympic level douchebag.

'Nuff said.

Personal Observation of the Evening

2008-08-05T20:55:00.002-04:00

(while folding laundry)

"I have really boring underwear."

I do. Guy's drawers (or man-panties, as LG refers to them) come in packs of three or four, and always include at least two pairs of grey drawers. I folded laundry tonight, and realized that the majority of my drawers are grey.

Personal Observation of the Evening

2008-07-26T22:49:00.001-04:00

"I would be less of a dick if I weren't so self-righteous.*" - WM

*Mind you, I will do nothing to change my self-righteousness. Part of being comfortable with being self-righteous is knowing that it suits you.

It's official: update

2008-06-20T12:15:00.002-04:00

Well, I went to the interview this morning, and to say the least, it was awkward. The four person panel I interviewed with didn't realize I hadn't initially interviewed for the position, so thus didn't have as much information about it as I would have had normally.

I did the best I could with what I had. They're looking for someone to supervise their adult ed teachers; being a teacher myself, I interviewed as a teacher. I do believe they're looking for someone with more of a principal-ish mentality to them; while I am many things, I am not an administrator.

But, I emailed the director, thanked her for the opportunity, and asked to still be on the list for part-time teachers.

It's official

2008-06-17T13:31:00.002-04:00

Not only am I a resident of the state of New Jersey, but now so is my Jeep. As of this morning, I transferred my registration/plates to New Jersey.

I didn't want to do it before my Michigan registration expired, because I'm certainly not going to pay for registration twice in one year.

Job front news - I went on an interview two weeks ago for a part-time adult education/GED position. I had a fantastic interview with the director. Yesterday, I got a phone call scheduling me for a second interview for a project coordinator position, supervising a portion of the adult education program. I was a bit shocked, and told the lady that called that I had interviewed for a different position. She said she was aware of that, and that the director recommended that I be put on the list for second interviews.

I'm a bit torn. On one hand, I'm rather proud that I impressed the director enough to be offered a very lucrative position. And, as my last day at the school I was teaching at was last Friday, I need a job. I've had a couple of interviews for teaching positions, but nothing's been offered yet. On the other hand, though, it's not a teaching position.

But, it's a good opportunity. So I go to the (second) interview on Friday. Wish me luck!

Political Activity

2008-06-14T06:48:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, LG and I went to a John McCain town hall meeting about a half hour away; I may not be the conservative Republican I once was, but I'm certainly more right than left.

He spoke for about a half hour, then took a half hour of questions. Having been to many of these types of events before, I expected the standard pre-screened, pre-prepared questions from a handful of specially selected audience members. I'd guess there were only two or three of those, and the rest were actual questions from regular folk.

McCain was engaging, self-depreciating ("in 2000, I didn't know a lot about global warming, so after the election I went back home to Arizona, since I lost..."), and seemed rather genuine. Which, honestly, is what he's supposed to be seeming to be, as he's running for office.

Best part? Joe Lieberman was there supporting him. John McCain has Joe-mentum! (pre-failure Joementum, anyway)

Free at Last, Free at Last

2008-06-06T18:51:00.002-04:00

Legal notice: The ex Mrs. Wandering Minstrel recently decided to change her name back to her maiden name, and is no longer under the surname of Minstrel.

This was a decision I encouraged her to make when I filed for divorce, but she didn't want to go through the hassle of a name change. Mind you, being lazy in the bureaucracy department, I understand the unwillingness to go through with that sort of thing. But dammit, it's my fucking last name.

So as of the other day, she's no longer ex Mrs. Minstrel, now she's just Ms. Ex.

One Year Later...

2008-05-26T07:31:00.004-04:00

A year ago, the Friday before Memorial Day, I packed up what I could fit into my Jeep, left Michigan, and moved to New Jersey. At the end of that journey was the hope that LG and I could make a life together.

One year later, we're still together, we've found happiness, and life is good.

Happenings the next

2008-05-13T19:14:00.002-04:00

Update: Denied by the school in Delaware. Pissy note: they could've at least called me, instead of letting their best-guessed notice-deadline pass and then letting me call the following Monday.

Update: Had a fantastic interview this afternoon. I'd be teaching world history and a healthy mix of electives, including medieval history (!!!). I was also asked what electives I would like to bring to the department, so of course I offered up a possible British/Irish history class. I met with the head of the history department for a half hour, then with the dean for a half hour, and both went well. The dean said he'd be calling me back to schedule an opportunity for me to come in and teach a history lesson.

Happenings

2008-05-10T21:08:00.004-04:00

I was told a couple of weeks ago that it's not all that guaranteed that I'd have a position next year at the school I've been teaching at. Needless to say, I took it pretty hard, as I've grown fond of the students and the school itself. But, things change, things move on, and I'm now again in the position of looking for a full-time teaching position. God has a plan for me; when He closes a door, He opens another.

So I'm sending out resumes to private and public schools. A few weeks ago I had an initial phone interview with a charter school in Philadelphia, and a week ago I had an interview at a school in Wilmington. I'm trying to keep my search to about an hour radius, which is roughly how long my drive-time was when teaching in Michigan. Keep your fingers crossed for the interview, and I'll let you all know how it goes.

Birthday is coming up this month. In 2003, my dad passed away on my birthday after a 5 month struggle with cancer; this has put a bit of a shadow on my birthday for the last few years. This year, though, I'll be doing a birthday dinner with LG and her mom, so that will definitely provide some birthday cheer. :)

Gaming note: I have been trying the mage class in WoW since I started playing the game two months after it came out. I have, thus far, made and deleted five mages. I'm now on Mage #6, and he's now in his 30s, which is the highest any of the little bastards have made it, so I'm fairly impressed with my dorkitude.

Goodbye, Dancing

2008-05-06T22:01:00.004-04:00

Marissa is still on Dancing with the Stars. Her gaping maw, high-pitch shriek, huge, obnoxious self will be back another week.

This is crap; she shouldn't have lasted longer than Mario, and shouldn't have lasted longer than Shannon.

I'm done with this show for the rest of the season. The judging has been artificially high, the audience is dumber than a box of hammers, and I will no longer participate.

Alas, poor Penn

2008-03-25T21:34:00.003-04:00

Tonight Penn Jillette was voted off of Dancing with the Stars. He was mocked by Len and insulted by Bruno.

I used all of my votes each week for him: a total of 18 text messages, 18 phone calls, and 18 clicks of online voting.

In the end, the public just didn't appreciate him on their program.

Screw you, Dancing with the Stars. This was Bullshit.

Godspeed, Dungeon Master

2008-03-04T16:52:00.004-05:00

I'm a geek. A nerd. I'll be the first to admit it. When I pick up a piece of fiction, nine times out of ten it's a fantasy novel; I read enough history, politics, and religion professionally, so when I want a bit of relaxing me-time, I pick up something light and fun.

I roleplayed in my youth. Dungeons and Dragons. A bunch of teenagers in a basement, each with an assortment of dice (d20, d12, two d10s, d8, a handful of d6s, and a d4), a character sheet, a plethora of junk food, an imagination, and a mutual understanding that this behavior could and would get us mocked. To this day, some of my fondest memories of my young life are hanging out with my friends, roleplaying.

The man who created the Dungeons and Dragons empire, who revitalized the realm of fantasy in the 1970s, Gary Gygax, died this morning. He didn't get a saving throw for that, none of us do. But he rolled a natural 20 in life.

Indy Goodness

2008-02-14T16:52:00.002-05:00

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull trailer!

Super Bowl Thought

2008-02-03T22:16:00.000-05:00

Take that, you pregnant-girlfriend-dumping, model-nailing douche.

Sleepless Night

2008-02-01T03:08:00.000-05:00

It's 3am. I've been awake since 1:30am.

I originally thought to myself, "hey, self, this is great, as long as you're awake, you can get some prep work done for your classes!" After that 30 seconds of stark-raving insanity was over, I logged into the game.

Tutoring Possibility

2008-01-18T21:32:00.000-05:00

I have the opportunity to take a tutoring job on the side. The family lives less than two minutes from my school, basically on the other side of campus and the neighboring country club.

This particular couple would like me to tutor their 7 year old and 9 year old in United States history; apparently the kids are quite bright, and have an interest in history. The parents are, to put it lightly, loaded (palatial house, housekeeper/nanny-type, the works). This gig would easily pay for my gas for the week of going back and forth to school, plus some, for just two extra hours of work a week.

But...7 and 9? For starters, other than my nephew and friends' kids, I've never really had close dealings with the elementary school age group. Secondly, do kids of that age (barring the occasional exception) really have a pressing interest in history that would require Mom and Dad to go spend some cash on a tutor? I met with the family this afternoon, and I have to say, it was a little..uncomfortable. Not uncomfortable in the "these are horrible people" or "these people are going to eat me" sense, but rather, "they're asking a high school teacher to tutor a couple of kids in 2nd and 4th grade in a subject that they probably couldn't care less about." In fact, while I was talking with the parentals, the older child was bugging his dad to set up the Playstation 3 so that he and his friends could play in the basement.

(Oh, and they'd also like me to tutor the kids in a bit of French history, as they are traveling to France later in the year and would like the kids to have a background in the subject.)

Edited to add: Tutoring's a no-go, they decided against it. Translation: Mom told Dad, "The kids are 7 and 9, the kids do NOT need a history tutor."

Exam week

2008-01-14T12:22:00.000-05:00

Just a bit of an update on a dreary Monday morning. So, that job I mentioned? Going swimmingly. However, the guy who's place I took left nothing for me - no test, no real grades (he hadn't tested or given assignments all semester, just gave them arbitrary grades based on their participation), and no exam. He hadn't been teaching anywhere near the syllabus or course guidelines. This is why some people shouldn't even think of being in education.

So, this past week I worked up an outline for where the students should be at this point in the year, as well as making them a comprehensive study guide for the exam. I'm going to have an evening study hall session later this week for them so they can have some extra in-class time with the material. Fortunately, the Dean is backing me completely on all of my decisions, so that helps tremendously (take THAT public education, in which the principal can and will cave for every single whiney-ass parent that thinks that it's not little Johnny's fault that he's lazy and willfully stupid, it's the teacher's fault because they're working him too hard). Frankly, I'm not used to support from the administration, so it's a bit heady.

But, next week is the new semester, so everything starts fresh.

Cracking Myself Up

2008-01-06T10:49:00.000-05:00

WM: Hey, wanna know where Charlie decided to poop today?
LG: No.
WM: On the floor. Right in the exact spot that my foot hits the floor when I get out of bed.
LG: Maybe he's like Martin Luther.
WM: Charlie and his 95 feces!

History Teacher

2008-01-04T17:12:00.000-05:00

I'm one of those fortunate people who has a calling - I'm a teacher. I've known that's what I was supposed to do for years. Put me in front of a classroom and I'm in my element. There are very few natural highs as big as when you see that glimmer, that dawning moment of understanding, of true learning, in a student's eyes.

Learning history is perhaps one of the ways to understand our current lives. "To view current events as a historian is to account for all perspectives, even those of your enemy. It is to know the past and to use such relevant history as a template for expectations. It is, most of all, to force reason ahead of instict, to refuse to demonize that which you hate, and to, most of all, accept your own fallibility."

Starting Monday, I am the new history instructor at a very prestigious private school.

Lightening of the heart for the New Year

2008-01-02T18:02:00.000-05:00

An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness Monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat at least a hundred feet into the air. It then opened its mouth waiting below to swallow them both.

As the man sailed head over heels and started to fall towards the open jaws of the ferocious beast he cried out, "Oh, my God! Help me!"

Suddenly, the scene froze in place and as the atheist hung in midair a booming voice came out of the clouds and said, "I thought you didn`t believe in Me!"

"God, come on, give me a break!" the man pleaded, "Just a second ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness Monster
either!"

Comforting Reminder...

2007-12-17T11:54:00.000-05:00

...LG and Ollie jamming on the floor whilst I attempt to get five stars for "Freebird" on Guitar Hero II. Admittedly, they're doing it just to see how distracted I get, but it's a good reminder that no matter how difficult life may get, I still have a cheering section.

More Indy Goodness

2007-12-10T16:12:00.001-05:00

Thought for the Day

2007-12-04T06:30:00.000-05:00

iThink therefore iAm.

Let it Snow...

2007-12-02T15:05:00.000-05:00

"Pop? Pop? Pop? Pop? My butt's cold, Pop."

We had our first noticeable snowfall last night, which is to say, barely a dusting. It started to rain shortly thereafter, so poof, no more snow. But it'll come. Hailing from Michigan, I'm used to a great deal more winter than what we've had so far this year. I talked to Mom yesterday and she said they have about 7 inches or so, give or take, which is a pretty hefty amount for this time of year, even for Michigan.

But, not only was this our area's first snow, it was Oliver's first snow. Honestly, he didn't even notice it at all, so I can't wait until we have actual accumulation and he goes bounding through drifts.

Off to the vet!

2007-11-28T07:36:00.000-05:00

We took Max to the vet on Tuesday evening so he could get caught up on all of his various shots. We're taking the boys to a kennel later in December so we can go do a Christmas with my family. Max weighs in at 20.3 pounds, so he's still a little heavier than Ollie, but not by a heck of a lot.

And here's Max at the vet, completely embarrassed by the antics of his humans' love of Christmas.

Edited to add by Max: "Pleez, pleez put me out of my mizry. Can I pleez hav a treat?"

More "A Martha's Wanderings"

2007-11-27T10:14:00.000-05:00

Yet another episode of "What would happen if the Wandering Minstrel got all Martha Stewart-y?" Last episode, we brought you such cupcakes as "Camden Friday Night Special" and the "Kennedy Assassination Cupcake."

This holiday, we're bringing you wall decorations. Now, as you readers know, I grew up in Michigan, southwest Michigan to be exact (well, not too exact, I don't think Mom would appreciate the massive gatherings of those making a pilgrimage to my homeland). The region is, for the most part, quite rural; in fact, the town I grew up in has a general store and a post office, across the street from each other. That one block constitutes the town proper. Don't blink, you'll miss it.

Anyhoo, lots of woods, lots of hunters. So, to bring a little bit of Michigan to New Jersey, so I can feel a bit of home-sweet-home, I give you my trophies:

(Antlers generously provided by Lady Gypsy, who is no doubt shaking her head in disbelief at this very moment. Note the Mickey snowflake tree-topper. :) )

This is a good thing

2007-11-24T22:10:00.001-05:00

Stupid people shouldn't breed anyway. This cuts off the possibility that this ignorant hippie twit will breed.

She just returned from a trip to South Africa. You know how you get to South Africa? A jet.

"We feel we can have one long-haul flight a year, as we are vegan and childless, thereby greatly reducing our carbon footprint and combating over-population." Apparently, as long as you don't eat meat and don't have your own young little meatsack, you can waste thousands of gallons of fuel to go look at a bunch of animals that you're genetically enabled to eat, but choose not to because it makes you feel better to rip a carrot out of the ground than to eat as designed. How does this sort of hypocrisy work, out of curiosity? Can I feel better about burning down a homeless shelter in winter because the little carbon footprints would have heat to warm themselves by? (with the little tykes all standing out in a snowbank, with their little frostbitten teddy bears!) But, if Al Gore, self-styled CHAMPION OF THE EARTH, can fly on a private jet to every single one of his speaking venues, who am I to suggest that this fucking idiot can't take a jet to South Africa - home of all kinds of rational ideas - for a little holiday with the hubby?

In fact, because she feels that humans are such a drain on the Earth, mayhaps she should make the ultimate sacrifice for her cause; put your money where your overindulged mouth is, woman, and take one for the team.

Welcome to the Jungle

2007-11-20T09:54:00.000-05:00

Squirrels are evil. There is no doubt. They are the harbingers of the animal revolution, in which the four-legged army will rise up against their furless oppressors.

Squeeze the Charmin

2007-11-19T20:10:00.000-05:00

Rest in peace, Dick Wilson, better known as Mr. Whipple in over 500 television commercials.

When I was younger, when Dad and I would go grocery shopping, I would always squeeze the Charmin as we walked down the aisle.

Complaints from the Ex department

2007-11-15T23:19:00.000-05:00

In the category of "What the Hell?!?!" - my ex-wife emailed my Mom some pictures; said pictures are of the ex, her new beau, and his kid showing their Halloween antics. Now, as I've mentioned before, this just seems wrong to me. It has an overwhelming sense of "Hey look at me, I can be happy without your son, see, look at me, look at me! I have a new guy, and he has a kid, which means I have a kid! Look at me!"

I suppose this wouldn't be as inane if she and Mom were ever really close, but they weren't. This isn't to say that my Mom was openly hostile to her (well, any more than she usually is to everyone. Face it Mom, you're...well...hostile. Don't look at me like that. Put your claws away, and why are your eyes shooting flames like that?), they just weren't close. Dad didn't like her at all, and in hindsight, pretty much every complaint he had against her was true, though I was blind to that at the time. Had Dad lived to see the divorce, I would still be hearing "I told you so" to this day, and I don't think his pleasure in saying it would diminish with time in the least. He's the only guy I've ever known that delighted in being right more than I do.

In any event, again, is it just me, or is her continued affiliation with my family just a touch wrong?

/dork laugh

2007-11-11T14:23:00.001-05:00

Stranger than Fiction

2007-11-06T09:50:00.000-05:00

"Sometimes, when we lose ourselves in fear and despair, in routine and constancy, in hopelessness and tragedy, we can thank God for Bavarian sugar cookies. And, fortunately, when there aren't any cookies, we can still find reassurance in a familiar hand on our skin, or a kind and loving gesture, or subtle encouragement, or a loving embrace, or an offer of comfort, not to mention hospital gurneys and nose plugs, an uneaten Danish, soft-spoken secrets, and Fender Stratocasters, and maybe the occasional piece of fiction. And we must remember that all these things, the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties, which we assume only accessorize our days, are effective for a much larger and nobler cause. They are here to save our lives. I know the idea seems strange, but I also know that it just so happens to be true." - Stranger than Fiction

Edited to Add: Thank you, LG, for the Bavarian Cream doughnuts. You are wonderful.

Happy Halloween!

2007-10-31T09:12:00.000-04:00

"You can't reason with a headless man!"

Now gather round while I elucidate,
On what happens outside when it gets late.
Along about midnight the ghosts and banshees,
Get together for their nightly jamboree.
There's ghosts with horns and saucer eyes,
And some with fangs about this size.
Some and fat, some are thin,
And some don't even bother to where their skin.
I'm telling you brother it's a frightful sight,
To see what goes on Halloween night.

Oh, when the spooks have a midnight jamboree,
They break it up with fiendish glee.
Ghosts are bad but the one that's cursed,
Is the Headless Horseman, he's the worst.

When he goes a jockeying across the land,
Holding his noggin in his hand.
Demons take one look and groan,
And hit the road for parts unknown.

There's no spook like a spook that spurned,
They don't like him and he's really burned.
Swears to the longest day he's dead,
He'll show them that he can get a head.

They say he's tired of his flaming top,
He's got a yen to make a swap.
So he rides one night a year,
To find a head in the hollow here.

And he likes 'em little, he likes 'em big,
Part in the middle, or a wig.
Black or white or even red,
The Headless Horseman needs a head.

With a hip, hip and a clippity clop,
He's out looking for a top to chop.
So don't stop to figure out a plan,
You can't reason with a headless man.

Now if you doubt this tale is so,
I met that spook just a year ago.
Now I didn't stop for a second look,
But made for the bridge that spans the brook.

For once you cross that bridge my friend,
The ghost is through, his power ends.
So when you're riding home tonight,
Make for the bridge with all your might.
He'll be down in the hollow there,
He needs your head. Lookout! Beware!

With a hip, hip and a clippity clop,
He's out looking for a head to swap.
So don't stop to figure out a plan,
You can't reason with a headless man!

Wandering Martha Stewart? A Martha's Wanderings?

2007-10-30T20:19:00.000-04:00

So for LG's office holiday pig-out, we made Vampire Cupcakes! Mua ha ha! Cupcake, filled with cherry filling, with fang marks, complete with blood trails.

What they're supposed to look like:
A bit of creativity on my part - the Camden Friday Night Special cupcake:

More creative goodness - the Kennedy Assassination Cupcake!

Stay tuned for next year's goodness, when I do Decomposing Corpse Cupcake, Civil War Amputation Cupcake, and the Nancy Kerrigan Cupcake.

Decorating with the Wandering Minstrel

2007-10-26T14:19:00.001-04:00

Apparently, this not being crafty thing is contagious.

LG has been swearing up and down that she's not crafty, despite all evidence to the contrary. So, I hit Target, grabbed some small plastic pumpkins, and melted candles into them. Poof, instant candle holders. (I go the idea from Real Simple. Don't even ask.) On a more manly note, I melted the wax with a blowtorch. Sure, it was a creme brulee blowtorch, but still, any blowtorch is manly.

Saltpeter! Pins!

2007-10-25T08:00:00.000-04:00

Today in history...

On October 25th, 1764, John Adams and Abigail Smith were married.

What the fu....?

2007-10-20T23:38:00.000-04:00

So I'm riding in the elevator the other day, heading back upstairs from getting the mail. For about two weeks now, I've had a horrible cough - since I got pneumonia a few years ago, coughing for me is usually very bad, wracking pain, etc. Back to the elevator...so I'm in the middle of a coughing fit, I finally calm down a bit and catch my breath. The old lady standing next to me glances over at me, offering me a very odd look.

"Is it the cancer?"

"What?!?"

"Is it the cancer? My sister used to cough like that, and she had the cancer."

"Um...no."

Later, I really wished I would've remembered Arnold's line from Kindergarten Cop, "it's not a tumah."

Mulligan Day

2007-10-18T07:09:00.000-04:00

It seems that they have a holiday/anniversary for everything nowadays; for example, Monday was National Grouch Day. Yesterday was national Mulligan Day. Considering this blog is a testament of how I hit the reset button on my life, essentially taking a mulligan, I think that this is one day that I should honor, at least nominally.

So, happy belated Mulligan Day!

Wedding Day candle

2007-10-04T17:40:00.000-04:00

It smells like surrender, disappointment, resentment, and bitterness.

Dancing with the Mentally Challenged Voters

2007-10-02T22:01:00.001-04:00

What in the ever-loving blarney fuck was that?

Anna Trebunskaya (and whoever she was dancing with, frankly, I don't care, it's not me dancing with her, which is a damnable shame) was voted off tonight on Dancing With the Stars. Wayne Fucking Newton was the other person in the bottom two, Wayne "I can't dance other than occasionally pivoting my hips while Cheryl dances around me" Newton.

America, listen to me. You fuck up voting for politicians, and now you're screwing the pooch when it comes to Dancing With the Stars. You voted off the hottie in favor of Wayne Fucking Newton. What the hell? But, then again, the show's target audience is housewives, so Wayne's in, any hottie is out.

Thought for the Day

2007-10-01T21:45:00.000-04:00

"I want the raunch. Bring out the raunch."

- Len Goodman, after being asked if he wanted to see more raunchy performances this year, despite being whole-heartedly anti-raunch in past seasons of Dancing with the Stars.

Uncomfortable Weirdness

2007-09-28T08:45:00.000-04:00

I was told yesterday that my ex is going to be at my Mom's house on Saturday, ostensibly to visit my nephew. However, she's bringing her new beau's kid with her. Am I the only one that finds this wildly inappropriate? If she's going over there to visit my nephew, I suppose that's okay (still weird), as she was "Aunt Ex". But to bring her new pseudo-kid? That just seems a bit...wrong. If she's moved on to the point of toddling around with the pseudo-kid, mayhaps it's time to leave well enough alone.

Four Housepets of the Apocalypse

2007-09-22T10:02:00.000-04:00

Charlie - Famine, labeled such because, well, he's got a big fat ass and he'll eat all the food causing everyone else to go hungry.

Oliver - Pestilence...well, 'nuff said.

Max - War, labeled such because he's such a fierce little squirrel chaser, and he's just so gosh-darned cute and cuddly and....(ahem) he's a warrior of olden days. Yeah.

Misty - Death, labeled such because she's plotting all of our deaths...our slow, drawn-out, excruciatingly painful deaths. Look at her - she's pure evil. An ancient evil of lore, whose destiny it is to eradicate all human life so she can rule on high as Felinus Supremus.

The Real Indiana Jones

2007-09-20T16:48:00.001-04:00

Rest in peace, Gene Savoy: explorer, archaeologist, historian, theologian, and author.

http://www.iht.com/articles/2007/09/16/america/obits.php

How I Got This Way

2007-09-20T11:51:00.000-04:00

Dedicated to my Dad.

A pirate's life for me...

2007-09-19T07:46:00.000-04:00

It's International Talk Like a Pirate Day, me hearties. So, that begs the question - somewhere, in France, are they celebrating? And what of the Spanish and their questionable, governmentally-sponsored armada?

Are pirates good? Bad? Soldiers of fortune? Privateers? I suppose it depends on your point of view.

"Now take Sir Francis Drake, the Spanish all despise him.
But to the British, he's a hero, and they idolize him.
It's how you look at buccaneers that makes them bad or good,
but I see them as members of a noble brotherhood!"

At what cost personal happiness?

2007-09-14T08:24:00.000-04:00

Those of you that have gone through a divorce will understand what I'm talking about. Those that haven't, or those that think a break-up is as bad as a divorce, read this for a preparatory guide.

I'm not going to discuss the feelings, emotions, actions, etc., on the part of the people actually going through the process. No, this is a reactionary piece to those around the people going through the divorce. Something I noticed while going through the process was that people, even long-time friends, start looking at you differently. As if something intrinsically changed in you, that you are longer you, that you are some new being. And, honestly, this is partially true, for no longer will you be thought of as a collective whole, as "Reed and Sue," but now only "Reed." This look is an amalgam of confusion, well-intentioned sympathy, judgment, and jealousy. (insert collective jaw-dropping here) Yes, I said jealousy. (waits patiently) Okay, pick up your jaws, you know I'm right.

It was about two months or so after filing for divorce that I started to notice the looks, and I began to recognize the jealousy in some people's eyes. It was the standard, "wow, he's getting/got a divorce, I wonder if he had kids, I wonder how he's going to make it, I wonder what happened between them," but I also started to notice "....man, I wonder if I could every do that."

I understand that this post will predispose people against me, that there are those that will read this and think I'm a horrible person. But we as a society have placed such a stigma on divorce that it has become one of the epitomes of life-changing events, right up there with death and the Phillies winning the World Series or the Devils beating the Red Wings. We are to assume that all marriages cannot end, save only for extreme cases. Apathy, though, should be declared as one of those extreme cases; hatred is not the opposite of love, apathy is. When the relationship has become so entrenched that only routine is holding it together, that only habit is keeping the relationship alive, mayhaps it's time to take it off of life support.

It is a very personal decision to determine that in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the Earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and Nature's God entitle them.

At what cost, then, personal happiness?

More Indy Goodness

2007-09-10T14:36:00.000-04:00

"Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" is the title of the new Indy movie.

Yes, I realize that 1) I don't have anyone reading this thing beyond about 5 people; 2) no one gives a tinker's damn about Indiana Jones; or 3) a bit of both.

But, blogs are supposed to be self-indulgent, right? (waits patiently for everyone to nod) Good then, I shall indulge away.

Summer Adventures - Down to the Shore

2007-09-09T18:05:00.001-04:00

After our Disney trip, we headed down to Wildwood to hang out with a couple of friends on the boardwalk. After enduring Jersey shore traffic, we arrived safely, and traversed the boardwalk...

...and managed to avoid the tram.

And, I did something that only an unsuspecting transplant from the Midwest would do - I challenged a native Jersey Girl, New Jersey being the home of the first ever skee-ball tournament, to skee-ball. Just because I'm brilliant doesn't mean I'm terribly bright. To reduce my pain, I'll put it as mildly as I can: I got my ass handed to me.

It wasn't pretty - and there was a bit of gloating on the Lady's
account. Okay, more than a bit, there was a certain devilish glee in her eyes.

Summer Adventures - Celtic Fling

2007-09-09T17:51:00.000-04:00

My first summer in New Jersey has offered us quite a few adventures - Second Saturdays, Cruise Nights, and Farmer Markets; a Celtic Fling in Pennsylvania, a trip to Disney, and a Jazz and Wine festival. So, let's have at it with the pictures!

In June, LG and I went to the grounds of the Pennsylvania Renaissance Festival to go to a Celtic Fling. LG was, to be sure, quite dubious at best. Upon reaching the grounds, she said "We haven't even parked yet, and I've seen two guys in kilts."

But, after a bit, she found the weaponry shops, at which time she really got into it...might have something to do with her desire to be armed amongst so many faire loonies.

First thing was first, though - it was quite toasty, so LG decided to get her hair braided. It looked great, and was quite a bit cooler for her, too, so it's a plus. She decided that if we go back in September for the Highland Games, she'll get it done again.

And a bit of self-imagery. I'm not a regular smoker, but I do enjoy cigars, and when we go to these types of things, they always seem to have a cigar booth, and, well, bards don't do so well when trying to resist temptation.

Certification Quest

2007-09-05T18:49:00.000-04:00

Just got my Praxis scores today, I passed with flying colors.

So, in summary: tomorrow I get fingerprinted for subbing. As far as official New Jersey teaching certification (permanent, non-subbing), I've jumped through the hoops, now what's next is for me to bundle up all of my transcripts, certificates, applications, and other miscellaneous forms, and send them in to the Department of Education.

Happy Birthday!

2007-09-05T00:01:00.001-04:00

Happy Birthday, Lady Gypsy!

First Day of School

2007-09-04T08:42:00.000-04:00

Every morning I take Max for his morning stroll; we'll walk around the apartment complex, occasionally venture off a couple of extra blocks, but usually he's only up for the minimum first thing in the morning. I've been a morning person for as long as I can remember, so the morning stroll works out well for me.

Today is the first day of school for a majority of school districts. Unfortunately, this put into light something that I've been dreading since May - I'm not going back to school today. One of the reasons I was able to move to New Jersey so easily (well, not easy, as it's a 12 hour drive, as the Minstrel...er...drives), is that Michigan's school districts are in a state of chaos. Well, without going into details, I was the low man on the totem pole.

Anyhoo, I'm getting fingerprinted on Thursday; after that, I'll be set up with a subbing company that works with dozens of districts, so it'll be easy for me to work every day. While I sub, I will continue the paper-work quest to transfer my certification to New Jersey. I took the Praxis exam in August, and after that, I just send in the box of paperwork to the Department of Education. All in all, pretty simple, if a bit time consuming. One of the good things about subbing for a while is that I'll be in various districts, so I'll see who has openings, where I'd like to teach, etc. Unfortunately, I will not have my own room, my own students. I'll just be filler. I'll be watching a lot of videos, handing out a lot of worksheets, and acting pretty much like a day-to-day babysitter.

And that leaves me with today. I'm not waiting in my classroom, lined with old textbooks, maps, and other things you'd expect to find in a history class, for the first batch of teenagers to come in. I don't have a syllabus ready to hand out, I don't have lesson plans ready to go. Truth be told, it makes me feel a little lost.

It's official...

2007-08-28T10:03:00.000-04:00

...I am now an official resident of the State of New Jersey. My postal address has been changed since I moved, but this morning I hauled myself down to the Governmental Bureau of Bureaucratic Paperwork and not only changed my license, but registered to vote as well. Not that the whole voting thing matters, doesn't living in New Jersey mean they automatically vote for the Democratic candidate for me?

Speaking of politics, my theory for the day: Senator Larry Craig needs to hook up with former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey. Think about it - both politicians, both involved in sex scandals, it's a match made in an airport men's room...er, Heaven.

***************
Brokeback Bathroom bwahahahaha! (wipes a tear)

Branded....by God?!?!

2007-08-23T20:00:00.000-04:00

Teens Campaign Against Pop Culture

My biggest chuckle out of this article? "We don't have to be branded by the culture, we've been branded by God." Now, forgive me if I'm wrong (which I'm not), but doesn't the whole branding thing go along with the AntiChrist (Margaret Thatcher), not God?

Also, the kicker: ""Kids are hurting," he said. And of those who he feels inflict these moral wounds, Luce said, "We call them terrorists, virtue terrorists, that are destroying our kids."

Virtue terrorists? That's...different. Now, let's be a bit realistic. I'm a teacher, history and political science. I've taught in an urban district, I've been on the front lines with the troubled kids that this article hints at. I've gone down to the jail after getting a 2:30am phone call from a student who got busted for prostitution. I've had to drive back into town to console the kid that had the shit beat out of him by his dad after he told his loving father that he was gay.

I find this article...insulting. To blame all of the problems the U.S. has on pop culture is an argument that hasn't held water since before Elvis' hips, since before flappers' loose morals and tight dresses. And guess what, fellas and Cinderallas? POP CULTURE IS NOT TO BLAME!!!111!!!! We have a generation of ex-hipsters entering a stage of out-of-control feelings of entitlement, and guess what? They've raised a bunch of kids who have grown up with those same feelings of entitlement. Pop culture has nothing to do with that - you can't lame Lindsey Lohan or Britney Spears for the fact that kids are screwed up. Well, okay, I can, but I'm entitled to.

Damp, cold, and sick

2007-08-21T12:59:00.001-04:00

Back from our Disney trip, which was so completely magical. I'll post the vacation update when I'm feeling better. After a week of 95°+, humid weather in Orlando, we came back to 65° and drizzle. Apparently my body didn't take too kindly to that, and I've acquired a bit of a summer sniffle.

So I sit in front of my computer, eating brownies, drinking coffee, and trying to force myself to go downstairs and do laundry.

So far, the coffee and brownies are winning out. Max curled up at my feet isn't helping, as I'd hate to disturb the little guy.

More Weird Crap My Girlfriend Comes Up With

2007-08-08T07:34:00.001-04:00

"Take out your juggling balls and unicycles, the end of the world is nigh!"* - Lady Gypsy

*Mentioned during a discussion on sea-monkey genocide.

In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit.

2007-08-06T16:27:00.000-04:00

Yeah, as the Lady sai d, I've been sucked into Lord of the Rings Online*. It's an online game, it's based on the Lord of the Rings....I'm in dork heaven.

All in all, it's a pretty good game. It's taking a while for everything to fall into place, game-play wise, but it'll get there. I spent six years in EverQuest, and a couple in World of Warcraft. The EverQuest experience ended for me when my dad passed (he and I would play together); it just wasn't the same without him. When he passed, I took his ranger, equipped his original axes, and charged him into Lady Vox's lair - an fitting end to my hero.

The WoW experience didn't end with such fanfare - quite honestly, it just fizzled out, with friends who weren't friends, and people who felt succeeding in life meant succeeding in the game.

So we're trying something new. Quite honestly, Lady Gypsy is indulging my inner nerd by playing this with me, and I greatly appreciate it.

*This is a shot of my hobbit burglar in front of Bag-End, home of Bilbo Baggins.

You know you're reached a certain point in your life...

2007-08-03T01:54:00.000-04:00

...when you get up to head to the bathroom to wash your hands and face, and you think to yourself, "You know, as long as I'm here, I might just as well pee," even when you don't really have to, just to save yourself a trip later.

Save Early, Save Often

2007-07-29T00:08:00.000-04:00

Okay, I have a confession: I listen to talk radio. A lot. I'll listen to conservatives, I'll listen to liberals. I know Thom Hartmann is a complete socialist loon, and I know Rush Limbaugh is a pompous, neo-fascist ass. God, I used to enjoy his show, oh, twelve years or so ago, when he still was occasionally funny. I stopped listening to him completely when he lied about the drug use. I have no problem with the fact that he got hooked on drugs - my beef was that he lied about it: words mean things, and he lost all credibility with me when he lied. As for Thom Hartmann, he'll have something plausibly sane to say a couple of times a week or so.

Anyhoo, I've heard no less than three hosts over the past few days ask how Lindsey Lohan can be saved. Folks, she can't. Send the loser to jail for a couple of years. So the hell what if she's not saved? What are we going to save her from, she's the one drinking/shooting/snorting/whoring/driving, no one's forcing her to do it.

My solution? Send all of these freaks (Lindsey, Britney, Paris, Mel Gibson, Ahhnold, Corzine, et al) to California. At that point in time, we detonate a series of explosives, thus sending the state of California off into the ocean. Rather like the whole ice flow thing, but without the Eskimos.

Indy goodness

2007-07-27T10:09:00.000-04:00

According to the Indy website, Karen Allen is going to return in the 4th movie as Marion Ravenwood. The movie is due out next Memorial Day weekend, and much to her dismay, I'll be dragging her to opening day. I'll be the history geek down in front, wearing my fedora. She'll be the one hiding under an empty popcorn bucket.

A bit of a revamp

2007-07-24T22:51:00.000-04:00

My thanks to the beautiful and web-savvy Lady Gypsy for tweaking this fledgling blog's look a bit.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

2007-07-22T01:21:00.001-04:00

Worst. Fucking. Ending. Ever.

What in the Hell kind of tripe was that? The last pseudo-chapter? What in the name of Zeus' butthole was that all about?

J.K. Rowling sucks. Fucking attention-grabbing, hopped-up-on-her-own-hype media-whore.

'Nuff said.

Weird Crap My Girlfriend Comes Up With

2007-07-19T19:35:00.003-04:00

"Nuns have a seamy white underbelly." - Lady Gypsy

Greatest Generation My Happy Ass

2007-07-16T10:57:00.000-04:00

...so there we were, at our local grocery establishment. We decided, "hey, it's summer, let's get a few ears of corn to go along with dinner." While shucking the corn at said grocery establishment (something that will be discussed at another time), an older woman stepped up to do the same. Now, the designated corn area is certainly not large, but it has a waste receptacle at both ends; the woman decided that instead of using the other, she'd just throw the husk at the receptacle we were using. Well, her aim was off, and the old bat ended up throwing the husks at me. No acknowledgment, no apology, no nothin'.

I'm not entirely sure when it happened, but it did: the so-called Greatest Generation is ruining the social fabric of America. Now, I've been known to advocate the outdated practice of tossing the elderly onto ice flows for many years now, but I think it's finally time to do it.

But let's embrace the era in which we live - we'll do it bureaucratically. We'll set up a system of tests, given at the DMV, in which anyone past a certain age will need to pass a series of tests in order to continue to practice certain activities. Driving, engaging in politics (note: no person over the age of 70 should be allowed to have any say in the Social Security system, ever. These people couldn't care less about the system, as long as they get their dough (re: my dough, they use up their contribution to the system long before that age) at the beginning of each month), and going out in public in general. Can't pass the driving test, Mr. Depends? Away goes your license.

Could this be a bit harsh? Sure. But in an age of an increased demand for accountability from teachers, politicians, famous athletes, and day care providers, let's demand it for those that don't contribute a hell of a lot, too.

Change

2007-07-14T08:03:00.000-04:00

"Change is really amazing stuff. Takes us places we never expected to be, turns us into people we never imagined ourselves capable of becoming, and yet through all of it, one ultimately feels like they really haven't changed. You're still you, I'm still me, despite the fact that neither of us are who we used to be. Funny how that works, huh?" - Garth Graham

Two years ago, my life was completely different than how I find myself today. Without getting into the "then", the "now" is pretty darned good. I'm with a wonderful woman who makes me very happy. She has a dog who has adopted me as his buddy, a pudgy little squat-faced grey cat who I think is actually plotting my slow torture and eventual death, and a thirty pound behemo...er...cat who spends most of the night sleeping next to me.

As Jake says, Life is good.

Happy Birthday, Mom!

2007-07-11T23:52:00.000-04:00

...and many more!

Limpin' ain't easy

2007-07-11T23:32:00.000-04:00

For many years, I have, more often than not, used a cane; my left knee has an issue in which it will occasionally collapse out from under me. On any given day, it's a constant, annoying ache. Every so often, it's shooting pain. Either way, I don't use the cane all the time, but it's usually nearby, just in case I do.

That being said: when a store offers me a motorized cart to zip around in, I have the urge to thwap the person who offers upside the head with said cane. Now, admittedly, these feelings probably don't make me the best person in the world (but, I don't do it, so that's what counts, right? right? Dammit, I don't think that counts. Why the Hell didn't somebody stop me from thinking that?!?...and why am I asking you, you're not privy to what I'm thinking...unless you're reading this blog, then you'll know what I'm thinking aaaaaaand now we've just gone all Twilight-Zone tangent). I just think that Standard American Store Greeter should wait until they are asked for a motorized cart. Just because I'm using a cane doesn't mean I need to plop my lazy ass in a cart and fill up the front basket with my grocery goodness.

But, on second thought, if I could use my cane as a lance and go jousting through the aisles, that might be worth it.

When in the course of human events...

2007-07-04T03:04:00.000-04:00

"Liberty, according to metaphysics, is a self-determining power in an intellectual agent. It implies thought and choice and power." - John Adams

As I sit here, looking out the window of our apartment, I see Philadelphia, birthplace of American freedom and independence. Today is the Fourth of July, Independence Day, and I am genuinely awed at the history before me.

Many complain that the United States has lost its way, that it has become corrupt, a shadow of its former glory. Some suggest impeachment, some suggest boycotting the system entirely. Some even go so far as to suggest flying the flag upside-down in protest of how things are.

Our Founding Fathers knew the troubles that had plagued civilization since the dawn of humanity - Greece, Rome, the Holy Roman Empire, England; they knew that there were mistakes to be made, hardships to endure. They knew, though, that the only way to prevail would be to gather a representation of America - not all lawyers, architects, statesmen; but also cobblers, farmers, and working men. These men represented the soul of America given flesh, allowing them not only to give birth to a fledgling nation-state, but to nudge it out of the nest and see it soar into a future of uncertainty, one of freedom and opportunity that no other nation had yet seen. But it is that sense of gambling that continues to make this nation great: as Bismark once remarked, "a special Providence takes care of fools, drunks, and the United States of America."

So today we celebrate our Independence Day. Today we take a moment to enjoy the fact that we have liberty in which to celebrate that notion - independence. Most of us take that for granted, as we have always had this freedom; but despite all of its problems, the United States of America is still the greatest nation the world has yet seen. Today is the celebration of America's birth, of her independence and freedom, and what it means to every single citizen of that republic. I am, as ever, eternally grateful for what living under her wing allows me to think, say, and do: truly, the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave.

Don't let the ball drop

2007-06-29T09:59:00.001-04:00

I've spent my adult life multi-tasking, keeping those balls juggled in the air - school, work, teaching, family, faith, the works; frankly, this isn't all that different from most people.

But what happens, then, when those balls are no longer up in the air? What happens when some are no longer in my life, some are no longer my responsibility, or some are no longer applicable?

Indiana Jones

2007-06-27T10:23:00.000-04:00

Confession: I have been an Indiana Jones fan since I was a kid - the cool fedora, the whip, the adventure, and the history. Truth be told, Indiana Jones is one of the reasons I'm a history teacher today...and why I own several fedoras.

Now, several comments have been made that Harrison Ford is getting a bit long in the tooth to do the role for a fourth time around, and, well, they're probably right. But this latest image gives me hope.

Maybe the new movie will not be Indiana Jones and the Depends of Destiny after all.

Justice, while no longer blind, is funny

2007-06-08T15:10:00.001-04:00

Paris Hilton has been ordered back to jail by the judge in the case, Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer. Justice is served with a side of schadenfreude.

Multi-Tiered Justice System

2007-06-07T13:01:00.000-04:00

Fellas and Cinderellas, we live in a multi-tiered legal system.

We have the politicians.

We have the rich.

And the rest of us exist in a system that couldn't care less.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm a history and political science guy. Truth be told, I'm a huge fan of the judicial branch and what they bring to the table. But the system has been twisted from one designed to create equality among the masses, to one of, by, and for the almighty dollar.

Justice is no longer blind because she is equal and just, she is blind because she can't stand to watch anymore.

The Road Trip

2007-06-05T20:25:00.001-04:00

So let's start at the beginning...the road trip. I packed up over Memorial Day weekend, leaving at 6:00am on Friday.

This was the last image I had of leaving my home town: my co-pilot on the town sign.

After that, I headed toward Ann Arbor, where I took a sharp turn southward toward Toledo, Ohio.

This is the afore-mentioned co-pilot, Kronk. (As for the seatbelt,
what can I say, he's a law-abiding kind of bear.)

I really have no idea what this is supposed to mean - are drugs and cheap freight inexorably linked together? Like some sort of 18-wheeled axis of evil? Or are we supposed to say no to cheap freight, that we're supposed to overpay for freight?

Wind-power...ain't it great? Well, not according to Ted Kennedy, who thinks wind-power is a great idea, as long as he doesn't have to see them near any of his homes. FYI, these are in Pennsylvania, near the turnpike. Also, author's note: Pennsylvania is too damned long for its own good.

So very many hours later (have I mentioned Pennsylvania is too damned long?), I arrived in New Jersey, my destination. After lugging boxes and Space Bags into the apartment (only one Jeep-load of stuffs on this trip), my new life was to begin.

Begin at the beginning...

2007-06-04T14:40:00.000-04:00

...of an epic tale of the Wandering Minstrel, of how he packed up, moved to New Jersey, and started a new life.